The advocate for New Zealanders mental health
BY Arlina Allen

422 From Trauma to Freedom: How Letting Go Changed Everything

• 2 min read

What if your energy was like a bag of Skittles?

That's the metaphor Anne uses in this conversation, and once you hear it, you can't unsee it.

Every day you wake up with a limited number of Skittles. Each one represents your energy — mentally, emotionally, and physically.

The problem?

Most of us are throwing our Skittles away without even realizing it.

We spend them worrying about things we can't control, replaying conversations in our heads, arguing on social media, or saying yes to things we don't actually want to do.

Before we know it, our energy is gone.

And we're left feeling exhausted, resentful, and disconnected from the life we actually want.

Anne knows this pattern well.

For years, she lived in survival mode. After experiencing childhood trauma and later losing her sister unexpectedly, alcohol became a way to numb the pain.

Eventually the chaos caught up with her.

At 39, she checked into rehab and began the process of unpacking the deeper reasons behind her drinking.

What she discovered changed everything.

Healing wasn't about simply removing alcohol. It was about confronting the invisible weight she had been carrying for decades.

Through therapy, journaling, somatic work, and eventually an ayahuasca experience, Anne began releasing the emotional burdens she had unknowingly held onto.

As those burdens lifted, something surprising happened.

Her energy came back.

Suddenly, she had clarity about what mattered and what didn't.

She stopped wasting Skittles.

Anne believes the key to peace and purpose is understanding one simple truth:

You are the architect of your life.

Not your past.
Not other people's expectations.
Not your circumstances.

You.

That means you also have the power to change how you spend your energy.

Here are a few simple ways to start:

1. Notice where your Skittles go.
Pay attention to what drains your energy during the day. Arguments? Worry? Overcommitment?

2. Stop saying yes when you mean no.
Every "yes" to someone else is a "no" to something else in your life.

3. Question old patterns.
Ask yourself: "Why do I keep doing this?" Awareness is the first step toward change.

4. Take your power back.
Blame gives away your power. Responsibility gives it back.

The truth is, most people think life is happening to them.

But Anne sees it differently.

Life is happening for you.

And once you stop wasting your Skittles on things that don't matter, you'll have the energy to build a life that actually does.

Buy The Book: https://amzn.to/4sNdDDq

👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life?

Here are 3 ways to get started:

🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist

Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com

☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick

https://www.makesobrietystick.com

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Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Amazon Music, or you can stream it from my website HERE. You can also watch the interview on YouTube.

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Apple: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast/id1212504521

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4I23r7DBTpT8XwUUwHRNpB

Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/a8eb438c-5af1-493b-99c1-f218e5553aff/the-one-day-at-a-time-recovery-podcast

 

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