415 Parenting After Sobriety: The Struggles No One Talks About
Quitting Drinking Was Easy. Learning How to Parent Angry Kids Was Not.
One of the things I loved about my conversation with Zach Brittle is how honest he was about what recovery really looks like—especially for parents.
Zach said something that stopped me in my tracks:
"Quitting drinking was the easiest part."
For him, the real work began when alcohol was gone and anger, resentment, and emotional reactivity were suddenly front and center. And if you're a parent in recovery, you probably know exactly what he means.
When one person in a family system gets sober, everything shifts. Kids who adapted to chaos don't always feel safer right away. Sometimes they act out more. Sometimes they get angrier. Sometimes they pull away.
Zach shared how his daughter went through her own painful process after he and his wife got sober—and how his job wasn't to fix her, control her, or defend himself.
It was to stay regulated.
Instead of escalating, he practiced pausing.
Instead of taking the bait, he learned to sit with discomfort.
Instead of rushing in to fix, he learned to be present.
That didn't come naturally. He practiced. He rehearsed. He failed and tried again.
And over time, trust began to rebuild—not because he forced it, but because he showed up differently.
Action Steps
If this episode resonated with you, try this:
- Notice your triggers – especially anger. It's information, not a failure.
- Pause before responding – ask, "What would make this worse?" and don't do that.
- Practice regulation – not perfection. You get better by showing up.
- Let time do its work – healing can't be rushed, especially with kids.
- Ask instead of assuming – "Do you want to be helped, heard, or hugged?"
Recovery isn't just about removing alcohol.
It's about learning how to be with yourself—and the people you love—when things get hard.
Resources Mentioned
- Marriage Therapy Radio – Podcast by Zach Brittle
- Internal Family Systems (IFS) – Parts-based therapy model
- Alcoholics Anonymous – Step work and resentment inventory
- Therapy & Parenting Support – Individual, couples, and family systems work
Zach
Guest Contact Info: https://marriagetherapyradio.com/
👊🏼Need help applying this information to your own life?
Here are 3 ways to get started:
🎁Free Guide: 30 Tips for Your First 30 Days - With a printable PDF checklist
Grab your copy here: https://www.soberlifeschool.com
☎️Private Coaching: Make Sobriety Stick
https://www.makesobrietystick.com
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